It Turns Out I Really Love You - Chapter 9

Sang Wuyan returned to B City, found a job at a radio station, earning money while studying for her postgraduate degree, and her workplace also allowed Sang Mama to retire a year early and rest at home.

The funeral, handled enthusiastically by Sang Papa’s unit leaders, was quite grand. Wuyan fainted several times crying over her father’s body, but Sang Mama remained very calm.

At the time, Cheng Yin worriedly reminded Wuyan, “You need to keep a close eye on Auntie.”

Indeed, after Sang Papa was buried, Sang Mama went to her father’s office every day, locking herself inside and talking to herself, or taking a long-distance bus to the place where they were educated youth back in the day to shed tears. When it was time, she would calmly return home to cook for Wuyan, appearing cheerful.

She constantly applied for night shifts at the radio station. The usually fierce and critical director, who loved to find fault with everyone, was almost always responsive to her requests. She would get off work at nearly one in the morning, then stay up studying for her postgraduate exams until the sky began to turn gray and bright before finally going to sleep.

A colleague asked, “Why do you like night shifts so much?”

Sang Wuyan smiled, “There are things to do at home during the day.”

During the day, Sang Wuyan would always follow her mother closely, never leaving her side. She would rush back just before her mother returned, pretending to have just come back from grocery shopping or just arrived home. She had to beg the leaders of her father’s school repeatedly to keep that office for her mother.

The two lived like this for a year. If Cheng Yin hadn’t been there, Sang Wuyan felt she would have gone mad first.

Sang Wuyan successfully got into her father’s school for her postgraduate studies, as she had wished.

A year later, even days after her father’s death anniversary, Sang Mama suddenly said, “Yanyan, was your father buried yesterday?”

Sang Wuyan, startled, replied, “Yes.”

Everything returned to normal, except Sang Mama’s memory suddenly skipped a year. She knew this was a psychogenic selective amnesia, like a shy person forgetting their lines the moment they go on stage when extremely nervous.

Sang Mama would sometimes be sad, but most of the time she spent her time with friends at the seniors’ university. She often said, “Yanyan, you don’t need to worry about Mama. Go wherever you want. Mama doesn’t need anyone to take care of her at all; she’s quite free alone.”

Sang Wuyan understood the meaning behind her words, but her mother didn’t know that she seemed unable to go back.

She didn’t know whether the last words she said to Su Nianqin were a curse or a prophecy. He indeed fulfilled it, never appearing before her again.

Su Nianqin was not a person who liked to attract attention, but Sang Wuyan could still get snippets of information about him from various media outlets. For example, Su Huaishan had passed the danger period and been discharged from the hospital; for example, Su Nianqin returned to the Su family and began to engage in family business; and… Yi Jin announced he was closing his pen and would no longer write songs.

She looked at the newspaper and only then noticed that the two characters “Yi Jin” were actually taken from “Qin” (衾).

Yi Jin.

Yi Jin (衣今 – ‘clothing now’).

Meaning, there was no longer a person named Yi Jin in this world.

After all this time, the pain of losing her father had gradually faded. At the time, she only felt extreme regret over her father’s sudden death, with a heart full of grief, self-pity, and remorse that had no outlet. In the end, she actually blamed her father’s death on Su Nianqin, which was why she said such definitive words to him.

She smiled, but nothing mattered anymore.

No matter who he loved, some things, some moments, only happen once in a lifetime. Once missed, there’s no turning back.

In a blink of an eye, she was already in her second year of postgraduate studies.

Wei Hao and Xu Qian, after a long-distance romance that started in high school, finally got married. The high school classmates who heard the news were all full of envy.

Sang Wuyan agreed to be a bridesmaid, and the best man was a male colleague from Wei Hao’s company. Li Lulu was also at the wedding that day. She had gotten into M Normal University for postgraduate studies the year she graduated, becoming Sang Wuyan’s senior.

When sending the bride off, Sang Wuyan, as a bridesmaid, rode in the main wedding car.

Xu Qian, sitting in the car, suddenly said, “Sang Wuyan, I always thought you were luckier than me. My family background wasn’t good, and I had to be clever and charming to get anything, so I was very jealous of you.”

“Why are you saying this, bride?”

“Wei Hao made me realize that people can’t think that way. Everyone has their own life and happiness, and you can’t always compare your weaknesses to others. I don’t want to apologize to you about Wei Hao at all. Because he is my happiness, and at this moment, everyone is very selfish. I seized it, and so I am very happy now. You should also work hard.”

Sang Wuyan nodded, smiling at her.

As the ceremony reached its end, when the bride threw her bouquet, Xu Qian winked at her, then threw the flowers directly at her face. Many single young men laughed and shouted that the bride was biased.

Xu Qian said, “How am I biased? Am I not just giving you all a chance? You can not only snatch the flowers but also take the bridesmaid as your chief wife.”

At that time, Sang Mama was also at the banquet. Whether inspired by Xu Qian or truly having reached that age, she began to worry about her daughter’s personal life.

“How do you feel about Xiao Xiao who visited home last time?” Sang Mama asked.

Seeing Sang Wuyan bury her head in her food and not answer, she continued, “He’s a good person, polite, and of a suitable height.”

“Who’s Xiao Xiao?” Sang Wuyan asked, puzzled.

“Your father’s former student, how could you forget? The one who called you ‘little junior sister’ when he saw you!” Sang Mama reminded her.

Sang Wuyan thought for a long time but still couldn’t recall what this person looked like.

A few days later, Sang Mama asked again, “Are there any boys in your class you get along with well?”

“Yes. He’s very nice. He even helped me find thesis materials.”

“What kind of person is he?”

“Mom, here you go again. He’s already married.”

Sang Wuyan helplessly turned the page of the gossip magazine in her hand, unexpectedly seeing a photo of Su Nianqin. The photo was small. He was wearing a black suit, and his face was unclear. The article was a review of the most coveted golden bachelors of the year.

In just three short years, he had successfully taken over all the family businesses from his father, Su Huaishan.

“What are you looking at?” Sang Mama asked casually, seeing her engrossed in reading.

“Nothing.” Sang Wuyan hurriedly turned another page, covering it up.

Such roundabout questioning didn’t work, so Sang Mama went straight for the kill, beginning to select blind date candidates for Sang Wuyan. She participated in senior activities, got to know many people her age, and would just grab anyone and ask, “Does your son have a girlfriend?”

Sang Wuyan truly couldn’t stand it, and she couldn’t tell her elderly mother directly, so she simply found a room and moved out, calling it: “Girls who live with their parents have a hard time finding boyfriends.”

Sang Mama was accustomed to accepting new ideas from the new era. She thought it made sense and readily agreed.

After asking around, Sang Mama finally filtered out a few suitable candidates.

The first one was a teacher, newly arrived at her father’s old college.

“He even bought a house outside, a top-floor duplex,” Sang Mama emphasized this selling point.

She now followed Sang Mama’s wishes; if her mother told her to go, she would obey. Going or not was one thing, whether it worked out was another.

The first blind date was inevitably awkward. The two first spoke on the phone, then arranged to meet at the entrance of “On the Island.”

The other party said, “I’m wearing a coffee-colored jacket.”

Sang Wuyan looked down at her striped shirt, couldn’t decide what color to call it for a long time, then felt it was impolite to hesitate too long on the phone, so she blurted out, “Then I’ll be holding a digest weekly.”

Pfft! Cheng Yin, hearing from the side, burst out laughing.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Sang Wuyan, you’re too clever. Why don’t you just hold a copy of Zhiyin in your right hand, a red rose in your left, and the secret code: ‘I won’t say even if you kill me’?”

“Go away!” Sang Wuyan feigned anger.

She took the bus and squeezed her way downstairs to “On the Island,” and indeed saw a man wearing glasses and a coffee-colored jacket. Sang Wuyan took out the newspaper from her bag. The man, seeing this, smiled and greeted her, “Miss Sang?”

The man originally had small eyes and a chubby face. With just that smile, his eyes almost disappeared.

Sang Wuyan nodded and went upstairs to have coffee with him.

“How was it, how was it?” As soon as she got home, Sang Mama called.

“It was okay.”

“What do you mean, ‘it was okay’?”

“It means no.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“Mom, I’m still studying at their school. What if he comes to teach our class? Wouldn’t that be a teacher-student romance? It would look bad.”

“That… I don’t think that has anything to do with it.”

“Even teacher-student romance is ‘no problem.’ Mom, you’re too open-minded.”

“Anyway, you’re graduating soon.”

“Also, his eyes are small, and it makes me uncomfortable to look at.”

“…”

The second was also a teacher, also teaching at a university, but a neighboring one.

This time, they arranged to meet downstairs at Pizza Hut. Sang Wuyan specially wore a striking and easy-to-describe bright red dress. As she went upstairs, Sang Wuyan walked behind the teacher, estimating his height, and sighed inwardly.

After dinner, Sang Wuyan called Sang Mama back and said, “He’s too short; it won’t work.”

“He’s not very short, just not tall at most,” Sang Mama said, looking at the matchmaker’s information through her glasses.

“No, it won’t work. I’m already so short; if I find someone short again, it’ll greatly affect the next generation.”

“…”

The third was still a teacher, but taught high school.

Because her husband was in that line of work, Sang Mama always felt that being a teacher was good. The work was stable, social status was high, there were few social engagements, and it was hard to cheat.

Cheng Yin shook her head, “Xiao Sang, I think you’re going to be famous in B City’s education circles. Is your mother planning to bring all the single male teachers in our city for you to review?”

Sang Wuyan gave Cheng Yin three words before leaving: “Go away, go away, go away!”

“Miss Sang, when do you graduate from postgraduate school?” the man asked.

“Next year.”

“I’m also quite keen on taking the postgraduate entrance exam for your school. High school students are not easy to teach now, and there’s a lot of social responsibility. How did you prepare for your postgraduate exam?”

“Read books, do exercises.”

“Did you find someone to review and guess questions with?”

“Currently, psychology is a national unified exam, mainly relying on oneself. But I also found a postgraduate student from our department who had just passed the exam to help me review.” That person was actually Li Lulu.

“Then, Miss Sang, could you help me review? I’m also preparing for the exam. Last year, I failed the major course and English, and I want to try again this year.”

As soon as she got in the car, Sang Wuyan called home.

“Mom, this person isn’t looking for a girlfriend,” Sang Wuyan said through gritted teeth.

“Then what is he looking for?” Sang Mama wondered.

“He wants to find a tutor,” Sang Wuyan concluded.

When the fourth person’s information was handed to Sang Wuyan, Sang Mama confidently said, “Wuyan, this time, the person Mom found for you is so perfect, he’s simply out of this world. He’s good and handsome, his height is no problem, and his work is beyond words.”

“Which school’s teacher is he again?” Sang Wuyan rubbed her forehead.

“He’s a lawyer.”

The coffee shop on the first floor of the Holiday Inn was outrageously expensive in B City. However, today it was Sang Wuyan’s blind date location. Sang Wuyan arrived a little late. The other party said on the phone that he was at seat number seven by the window, and told Sang Wuyan to come straight in. The waiter led her to the seat. Just as she was about to sit down, she heard someone call out “Mr. Su.”

Whenever she heard that address, her heart would race, and she would immediately shift her gaze, only to be met with disappointment after disappointment. Even she didn’t know whether she was expecting or fearing.

She stood in front of seat number seven, her gaze following the sound again, and the person who spoke was a middle-aged man beside them.

Then, Sang Wuyan saw Su Nianqin approaching.

If it weren’t for the words “Mr. Su” as a foundation, she would hardly recognize him.

A dark gray suit, the collar buttoned tightly, making him look tall and distinguished. His skin was darker than before, his face still as handsome, but within his bones, there was a deeper indifference than before. This indifference, like poison, attracted women, like moths to a flame; she had once been one of them.

His appearance caused the baristas to frequently look up at him. The one supporting his arm and guiding him was not Yu Xiaolu, but a exquisitely dressed woman. Their movements were not intimate, indicating she was likely a secretary.

The colors of his suit, shirt, and tie were perfectly coordinated, indicating that the woman with him was far more meticulous than Yu Xiaolu, and surely very good at managing a household.

Sang Wuyan stood frozen.

Then, he brushed past her.

For a moment, Sang Wuyan was a little dazed, even her hands and feet began to tremble slightly.

It was too sudden; she unexpectedly met him completely unprepared. In the past few years since they last met, he was no longer the Su Nianqin she used to know; he had become even more unattainable.

At that time, he was a substitute teacher, and she was an intern teacher.

Now, he was the heir of a financial magnate, while she was still an ordinary student.

For a period of time after, she rarely took the initiative to mention his name in front of others, forcing herself to gradually forget him. However, every time she saw his name, his news, or his pictures in newspapers or magazines, she couldn’t help but cut them out, clip them in her diary, and secretly cherish them.

Before her last few blind dates, she had been thinking, if this one is suitable, she would just get married, and let the past be forever the past.

Sang Wuyan had always thought she had truly achieved this, but then she saw him suddenly appear there, walking slowly with a faint, elegant smile. That was not the Su Nianqin she knew at all. At one point, those expressions were all hers. Thinking this, the sweetness, sourness, bitterness, and romance of first love all rushed to Sang Wuyan’s head, an indescribable mix of emotions.

He couldn’t see her, so he passed her without noticing.

At that moment, she felt as if time had frozen. He walked past her, so close that Sang Wuyan almost heard the friction of their clothes.

He didn’t notice her, not even a pause.

Sang Wuyan smiled, as if in self-mockery.

“Miss Sang, are you alright?” The man who had been waiting for her to sit down, seeing her pale face, asked concerned.

“I’m fine.”

Because it was daytime, there weren’t many people in the coffee shop, and soothing piano music was playing. A few customers were chatting, all in hushed tones.

Her voice, speaking to her blind date, wasn’t loud at all, but it still made Su Nianqin’s figure pause slightly.

Sang Wuyan was a little surprised that after so many years, he was still so sensitive to her voice.

“Miss Sang?” The man, still tactless, called out her surname loudly.

Miss Sang? Su Nianqin raised an eyebrow. He turned around, slowly retraced two steps, and stood in front of Sang Wuyan’s table.

“Miss Sang?” This time, it was Su Nianqin asking. “This surname is not common; perhaps we are old acquaintances.”

The blind date, hearing Su Nianqin’s words, stood up out of politeness. “How should I address this gentleman?”

“My surname is Su. I’m an old acquaintance of Miss Sang from A City. Of course…” Su Nianqin said, “If Miss Sang has a short memory, she might not remember me.” He smiled faintly, full of sarcasm.

Sang Wuyan’s face turned pale.

“Nice to meet you,” the man said politely, shaking his hand.

The secretary next to him quietly reminded him, “Mr. Su…” then guided his hand to shake the man’s.

Sang Wuyan realized that after three years, his social interactions had greatly improved. At least he now knew to shake hands with people regardless of his mood.

Unlike the habits of ordinary blind people, Su Nianqin rarely wore sunglasses, because they would obstruct his only light perception. So it was only now that the blind date realized Su Nianqin had an eye problem.

“Miss Sang and I are old acquaintances meeting in a foreign land; it’s a rare encounter. But I wonder who this gentleman is?” Su Nianqin asked with a smile.

“Miss Sang and I…” the man began.

“He’s my boyfriend!” Sang Wuyan quickly interjected.

Su Nianqin narrowed his eyes slightly. This used to be his signature expression before getting angry, but now he asked blandly, “Then, Miss Sang, please take the trouble to introduce your boyfriend.”

“His surname is…” Sang Wuyan choked, looking at the man. Before going on the blind date, Sang Mama had specifically given her a lesson, including the man’s background, how to act like a lady, and how to discreetly inquire about the other party’s family assets. She had even mentally rehearsed it twice on her way there, but unexpectedly, after suddenly meeting Su Nianqin, all the messy things were thrown to the back of her mind.

“My surname is Wu, Wu Yu,” the man said, smiling, completing Sang Wuyan’s sentence.

Sang Wuyan was embarrassed. She hadn’t expected Su Nianqin to become much more cunning and sly than before; just one sentence from him could expose her completely.

Subsequently, Su Nianqin returned to his seat and discussed his own business.

Meanwhile, Sang Wuyan continued her blind date. The blind date was clearly quite satisfied with Sang Wuyan, chatting away, trying to find topics. Sang Wuyan occasionally responded, but was actually not listening at all.

She felt as if she was sitting on pins and needles, finally wishing she could grab her bag and escape on the spot. Just as this thought crossed her mind, she saw the secretary walk over, smiling, and say to Wu Yu, who was opposite Sang Wuyan, “Mr. Wu, my boss would like to have a few words with your girlfriend, if that’s appropriate?” She was very polite.

Wu Yu didn’t know what kind of entanglement existed between them, so he could only say, “Of course, of course,” and walked to another table.

The secretary smiled gratefully at his understanding, then walked back.

Su Nianqin had finished talking with the middle-aged man. After seeing off the guest, he received a reply from his secretary, then stood up and walked over.

Sang Wuyan watched restlessly as he unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down. Then the two faced each other in silence for a long time.

As soon as the others left, Su Nianqin’s smile vanished, and he coldly pursed his lips. Because of his eye condition, she dared to continue staring at him so brazenly. After observing for a long time, she suddenly felt that his tightly pursed lips were very sexy. Heh, sexy? Now’s not the time to be thinking that. She reminded herself.

Sang Wuyan felt that the longer this silence continued, the more不利 it would be for her, so she pretended to be relaxed and said, “Long time no see, Su Nianqin.”

Su Nianqin’s face was gloomy; he didn’t respond.

She thought perhaps that sentence wasn’t quite right, so she said again, “After a few years, you look more spirited. It seems you’re doing well.”

This sounded even worse.

Su Nianqin, at this moment, actually took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, pulled one out, tapped it on the box, put it in his mouth, and then skillfully took out a lighter to light it.

He took a deep drag and exhaled a puff of blue smoke.

If the old him still had some willful childishness, then the current Su Nianqin was a completely mature man, at least outwardly.

Sang Wuyan saw the gloom on Su Nianqin’s face deepen through the smoke.

“Are you here for a business trip or for tourism?”

Nonsense, who brings a secretary for tourism? One stupid question after another, so she simply shut up.

His fingers held the cigarette butt, flicking it naturally into the ashtray, and he placed the lighter on the table.

“Sang Wuyan,” Su Nianqin said coldly, “Don’t worry, I’m not here for you. And without you, I can live better.” After saying this, Su Nianqin extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray, quickly stood up, and left.

The secretary behind him saw this and chased after him, “Mr. Su…”

Sang Wuyan’s face was filled with surprise. After all these years, when he saw her, all he had to say to her were these two sentences.

I’m not here for you.

Without you, I can live better.

Only after walking outside and breathing the damp, cold air did Su Nianqin slowly relax his taut nerves. He, Su Nianqin, could also be so cowardly that he didn’t dare to stay one more moment or say one more word in front of this woman.

Sang Wuyan returned to her place and immediately received a call from Sang Mama.

“Wuyan. How was it? This person’s character and appearance are pretty good, right?”

Only then did Sang Wuyan realize that she had forgotten the Mr. Wu in the coffee shop.

It was already late autumn, and the new semester was halfway through. The southern city also had chilly winds blowing. She and Li Lulu had taken on a case of child autism, a child named Xiao Jie who was accepted by the Child Research Center.

Before Xiao Jie was two years old, because he was insensitive to sounds and his language development was very slow, his parents mistakenly thought he was deaf or intellectually disabled. Later, when Sang Wuyan first met Xiao Jie, his parents were secretly discussing whether to abandon him.

“He’s not stupid.”

“Impossible,” his irresponsible parents firmly denied.

“Not only is he not stupid, he might even have other talents.”

“Teacher Sang,” the parents seemed a little confused. “A child who can’t speak, can’t laugh, and is even slow with basic movements, if he’s not stupid, what is he? And we’re both from the countryside; we don’t have much money to pay for your treatment fees.”

Sang Wuyan was exasperated.

So, under an agreement signed with the guardians, Sang Wuyan took Xiao Jie to the research center and covered all his treatment expenses.

Meaning, she had practically adopted this child, only without legal protection.

Cheng Yin said, “This child’s parents aren’t stupid; you are.”

At first, Xiao Jie’s condition was very bad. He could barely vocalize, only repeating a few single words like a parrot. Treatment was started too late, almost causing his auditory nerve to atrophy. He lacked the self-care abilities of a child his age, rudely rejected anyone who tried to get close to him, and would scream like crazy if things deviated from his routine.

Fortunately, the therapists there were very patient.

One year later today, Xiao Jie began to learn to quietly build red houses with building blocks. Although the style of the houses never changed.

Li Lulu looked at Xiao Jie’s recent medical records while asking, “How was your blind date this morning?”

“Don’t even mention it.”

“Not well-mannered enough?”

“He seemed quite nice.”

“Not handsome enough?”

“I didn’t even pay attention to what he looked like.”

Li Lulu whistled.

“That’s not like you, Sang Wuyan. The last few times, you either complained about the other person being short or having small eyes. How come this time you didn’t even get a clear look at their appearance?”

“I saw him.”

“Who?”

“Su Nianqin,” Sang Wuyan said.

“I knew it. Once Young Master Su appears, who can contend?”

Li Lulu had seen Su Nianqin on her undergraduate graduation day. In their subsequent two years of postgraduate life, she had used indirect means to gather many details of Sang Wuyan’s love story.

“Didn’t a report say that last month, Old Master Su transferred all his shares to him? Now Young Master Su is a genuine, top-tier diamond bachelor. Why don’t you try to get him back, rekindle an old flame?”

Sang Wuyan said self-mockingly, “He treats me like the plague; how would he want an old flame?”

Yes, he once told her that if she left first, he would hate her for life. But he was clearly the one with the problem, so how could he blame her?

Su Nianqin’s brows were tightly furrowed, his hand still holding an ashtray. She actually lied to him, saying that man was her boyfriend, speaking nonsense with wide eyes. Did she think he was a three-year-old child?

His mind wandered, the cigarette burned down to its end, singeing his fingers. Startled, he immediately put it out. After only half a second, he wanted another one, but when he felt the box, he realized it was empty.

Su Nianqin opened the hotel window. Along with the autumn wind, the roar of traffic from below rushed in. He took a deep breath of the cool air, then crumpled the cigarette pack in his hand and threw it out the window. A sudden anger welled up in his heart: Su Nianqin, don’t fantasize anymore. Are you even a man like this? Three years ago, she dumped you without a moment’s hesitation, even saying she never wanted to see you again in her life.

She also said she hated him.

“Mr. Su?” Secretary Xiao Qin called him, “Aren’t you going to turn on the lights?”

“If you need them, turn them on,” Su Nianqin collected himself before turning back.

“With the lights on, it feels a bit gentler,” Xiao Qin brewed him a cup of hot tea, then asked the hotel service staff to remove all fragile items and unnecessary decorations. Then, on the desk in the study, she arranged the voice scanner and braille typewriter she had brought, according to his habits.

“The cooperation with TORO company went smoothly. I’ve also placed the drafted agreement on your desk, but you need to go there tomorrow morning.”

“Mm-hmm,” Su Nianqin propped his left elbow on the sofa armrest, supporting his chin. This was his usual absent-minded posture, listening to his secretary distractedly.

“Also, our branch office here hopes you can visit the employees.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Miss Yu called, hoping you’d call her back when you have time.”

“Mm-hmm,” he hadn’t heard anything at all.

Xiao Qin understood that she had wasted many words, but a boss was a boss.

“Mr. Su?” Xiao Qin smiled.

“Hmm? Are you done?” Su Nianqin returned to reality.

“That’s all for now. Do you need me to do anything, Mr. Su?”

“Place the agreement we’re signing tomorrow on my desk. I’ll be meeting with TORO and their shareholders in the morning. Arrange a time for me to inspect the branch office,” Su Nianqin said.

It seems he didn’t listen to anything I just said, Xiao Qin thought.

But her face still wore a pleasant expression, “Okay. I understand.” When she first started, Yu Xiaolu had told her that being Mr. Su’s secretary, knowing braille and being capable were secondary; the key was having a good temper and patience.

“Also—”

“Please speak.”

“Call and order me a bottle of wine.”

“Miss Yu instructed that the doctor said your eyes…”

Su Nianqin impatiently raised his hand.

Xiao Qin immediately fell silent. She was a secretary, not his wife, so she knew when to stop.

When she left, Su Nianqin suddenly asked, “Did you bring my radio?”

Xiao Qin said, “You said you didn’t need it at the time, so I didn’t bring it. However, if you want to listen to the radio, my phone has that function.”

“No need,” Su Nianqin immediately refused again.

Today’s boss is very strange, Xiao Qin thought, though he’s always been a bit abnormal.

Su Nianqin read the materials left by Xiao Qin until midnight. He had never thought he would go into business before, so he wasn’t familiar with many professional terms. Xiao Qin had extensively tutored him, but he still found it challenging, so he put in much more effort than others.

Fortunately, someone had thought of a way for him before.

“If reading is strenuous, why don’t you have someone read to you, and then just write down the parts you need to remember?” He still remembered every word Sang Wuyan had said with a smile. She was the girl he had met who cried the most and laughed the most.

Although he couldn’t see, laughter came from the heart, and he could hear it.

His heart felt a little unwell, so he asked the restaurant to send up some wine.

“Mr. Su, anything else you need?” the other party asked kindly.

“No,” he coldly refused.

Su Nianqin’s history with alcohol and cigarettes was not long; they were bad habits he picked up after Sang Wuyan left. He wasn’t particular about these things, so he wasn’t picky. In his heart, any wine that could make him forget Sang Wuyan was good wine.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t found it yet.

That night, he had a dream that Sang Wuyan was standing under a tree.

What kind of tree was it?

He frowned in his dream.

A type of tree planted all over A City. He didn’t know what it looked like, only remembered its smell. Yu Weilan said it was holly. But many years later, Sang Wuyan told him it wasn’t holly, it was privet. At that time, she plucked the fragrant, rice-grain-sized flowers and placed them in his palm, along with an ordinary leaf, even guiding his fingertips to touch them.

That was the second time she held his hand.

The first time was when she was applying aloe vera gel to his burn. She was small, and her hands weren’t exceptionally slender, but they felt exceptionally soft, comfortable, and warm.

He had touched her face countless times, to the point where he could accurately outline every part in his mind.

But, no matter what he did, he couldn’t form her image: her smiling face, her crying face, her angry face, her pouting face when she acted spoiled with him.

Therefore, she stood again and again under the privet tree in his dream, holding an umbrella, with her back to him, but never once turned around.

She told him she never wanted to see him again in her life. He originally thought that no matter how much his heart ached, his pride would be enough to make him stick to those words until the next life.

But, he couldn’t help but break that vow, suddenly wanting to come and see her, to see if she was well.

In the morning, Xiao Qin came to call Su Nianqin. She knocked on the door, but no one answered, so she had to use her key card to open it.

The room was filled with the smell of smoke and alcohol, almost suffocating. He was curled up on the sofa with his clothes on, holding his portable music player, and his earbuds were still in his ears, having spent the night like that.

Xiao Qin, being accustomed to it, wasn’t too surprised. She checked her watch; it was only seven o’clock, so she could let him sleep for another half an hour. So she opened the window and took away the empty bottles from the bed. At that moment, she heard Su Nianqin muttering the words “Wuyan” in his sleep. She didn’t know if it was “smokeless” or “no swallows,” having heard it many times without ever figuring it out.

Xiao Qin raised an eyebrow and waited for him in the living room while looking at the schedule.

At seven-thirty, Su Nianqin woke up punctually, as if he had an internal alarm clock. He showered in the bathroom, then, wrapped in a towel, went back to the walk-in closet to get his clothes. Each item of clothing had a braille tag indicating its color, style, and so on.

Twenty minutes later, Su Nianqin transformed back into the Su Nianqin of daytime: his beard was cleanly shaved, his clothes were neat, there was no unusual smell on him, and his facial expression was calm.

“Nianqin—” Someone called him right after he finished a meeting at TORO.

“It’s Miss Peng,” Xiao Qin didn’t need to remind Su Nianqin; he already knew it was her.

Peng Danqi, the niece of TORO’s owner.

In this world, probably only this woman could call Su Nianqin so loudly and intimately.

Su Nianqin frowned slightly in displeasure; he didn’t like others calling him so intimately.

“Miss Peng, do you have any other instructions?” Su Nianqin asked, his tone distant and reserved.

He had always been aloof, so Peng Danqi didn’t mind.

“Just call me Danqi; otherwise, it’s too formal,” Peng Danqi smiled.

Her CD perfume is too strong; the boss definitely won’t like it, Xiao Qin thought. Yu Xiaolu had reminded her that Mr. Su was sensitive to smells and sounds, so she shouldn’t wear perfume or speak loudly.

“Nianqin, I heard it’s your first time in B City. I’ll show you around.”

“Thank you for your enthusiasm, Miss Peng. My eyes are inconvenient, and I don’t like moving around.”

Peng Danqi applied her business tactics to love, not pressing too hard but persistently.

“Then tonight, I’ll host and treat you to dinner to fulfill my duties as a local host. Nianqin, you shouldn’t refuse this, should you?”

Su Nianqin had no way out.

That evening, on the way from the hotel to the Catiero restaurant, Su Nianqin suddenly searched his pockets in the car.

“Mr. Su, looking for something?”

“My MP3 player I carry with me.”

His white iPod, Su Nianqin’s cherished possession.

“Did you leave it at the hotel?” Xiao Qin asked.

“Then go back and find it,” Su Nianqin ordered without hesitation.

“Mr. Su, your appointment with Miss Peng is almost here.”

“I’m not going,” Su Nianqin spat out three words.

Peng Danqi’s carefully prepared date was canceled due to this small incident, forcing Xiao Qin to lower her voice and come up with ample reasons to explain to her. Fortunately, Peng Danqi was quite understanding.

But Su Nianqin was completely unreasonable.

The hotel room was turned upside down by him. The service staff who cleaned the room were severely interrogated one by one, making everyone very awkward.

The manager asked nervously, “Was the item Mr. Su lost very valuable?”

“An MP3 player,” Xiao Qin maintained her smile.

Su Nianqin’s way of treating people had improved greatly since she first started working for him two or three years ago, but after arriving in B City, he occasionally started acting abnormally.

Xiao Qin remembered their first meeting. Su Nianqin stood at the other end of the room and asked, “Why do you know braille?”

“My father is blind.”

“Congenital or…” He was deliberating his choice of words.

“Acquired. He was a worker; when I was about two, he had an accident in the workshop that caused his blindness,” Xiao Qin replied to him.

“He’s still lucky; at least he saw what your mother and you looked like.”

Xiao Qin shook her head. “No, Mr. Su. An adult who suddenly loses sight from a completely healthy state experiences a greater blow than someone who has been blind since childhood.”

She couldn’t help but retort to him. Although the staff had repeatedly emphasized before she came in that she shouldn’t defy Mr. Su, she still impulsively did so. Because that accident was never fortunate for her father’s entire life.

Su Nianqin turned his head, his pale face expressionless, and asked, “Was your father happy afterwards?”

“Later, the factory blamed the accident on his operational error and then fired him. For a long time after he was discharged from the hospital, he couldn’t find a job, so he started drinking heavily. When he was drunk, he would physically abuse me and my mother. When sober, he would kneel on the floor, crying and saying how much he loved my mother, begging her not to leave him, repenting again and again, but then repeating his actions again and again.”

“And then?” Su Nianqin asked again. In his calm expression, there was a trace of imperceptible pain.

“My mother divorced him when I was not yet ten,” Xiao Qin said blandly.

She walked out of the office, originally thinking the opportunity was gone, but a week later she received a call. The other party said, “Miss Qin, Mr. Su has decided to hire you. Please come to work on Monday.”

Xiao Qin joined the company and found Su Nianqin to be the most diligent boss she had ever met, like a tireless perpetual motion machine, and like a sponge rapidly absorbing unfamiliar knowledge. One day, she accidentally heard someone say that Su Nianqin had once loved someone, and then that person left him. Xiao Qin immediately remembered his expression when he asked about her father’s story. So, did he abandon her, or did she abandon him?

About ten minutes later, the bothersome MP3 player was found in the seam of the rug under the bed. Many people wiped their sweat and breathed a sigh of relief. Just then, Yu Xiaolu called. Xiao Qin reported the situation to the boss’s paternal aunt.

Yu Xiaolu thought for a moment and said, “I’ll send you an audio file in a bit; save it on your computer. Then go buy a few more MP3 players of the same model and copy it onto them as backup.” That evening, when Xiao Qin opened her email, she saw the attachment Yu Xiaolu had sent.

It was a total of 3 GB of compressed audio files, with the filename: Wuyan.

She disliked invading privacy and didn’t listen to it. She simply unzipped the file and copied it onto the newly bought MP3 players as instructed, five of them in total, distributing them in her bag, drawer, and car, to be prepared for any eventuality.

Only then did Xiao Qin realize that what was important was not the device, but the voice inside.

The finance section of the newspaper reported: “RD to merge with TORO company; relevant high-level sources reveal negotiations have entered the final stage.”

Sang Wuyan finished reading the news and folded the newspaper.

Indeed, as Su Nianqin had told her, he wasn’t in B City for her.

In movies and TV shows, there are often plots where the male protagonist waits day after day below a woman’s apartment. But Su Nianqin wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t have three years ago, and it seemed he wouldn’t three years later either.

“You have to go with me tomorrow,” Li Lulu said.

She had taken four days off and had already arranged with the hospital to have myopia surgery tomorrow morning.

“What’s wrong with wearing glasses? Can’t you just not have the surgery?”

“You’re talking without feeling the pain. Your eyes are good, so of course you don’t know the suffering of poor vision,” Li Lulu said. “Anyway, Huang He is going, so you have to go too. In this place, I only know you two. If I accidentally kick the bucket, at least I can see you one last time.” Huang He was Li Lulu’s boyfriend.

Sang Wuyan rolled her eyes at Li Lulu.

After class, Sang Wuyan, leading Xiao Jie, wanted to hail a taxi. His condition made him uncomfortable in crowded places and even less able to handle being jostled.

“Miss Sang!”

Suddenly, someone in a car called her.

She turned and saw a man stop his car by the roadside. The man had a refined appearance and wore a pair of glasses.

“You…” Sang Wuyan was suspicious, unable to recall where she had seen this person.

“We’ve met, at the Holiday Inn, Wu Yu,” the man prompted.

“Oh, Mr. Wu,” Sang Wuyan said, a little apologetically.

“Where are you going? I just got off work and can give you a ride.”

“No need, no need,” Sang Wuyan waved her hand.

“It’s my pleasure anyway. It’s hard to get a taxi with a child at this time,” he saw Xiao Jie by Sang Wuyan’s side.

Sang Wuyan hesitated.

“If Miss Sang declines again, the police will give me a ticket,” Wu Yu said, smiling, throwing out a reason that made it impossible to refuse.

Sang Wuyan had no choice but to get in the car.

“Where are you two going?” Wu Yu asked.

She sat in the back to take care of Xiao Jie.

“To KFC in the city center.”

“Are you going to eat?” Wu Yu looked at Sang Wuyan through the rearview mirror.

“Yes.”

“It’s a bit crowded at this time. If the child doesn’t mind McDonald’s, I know a quieter one,” Wu Yu asked Sang Wuyan, looking through the rearview mirror.

“Mm-hmm, thank you then.”

Thus, the taxi ride was smoothly transformed by Wu Yu into a strange date.

When Wu Yu went to buy food, he wasn’t familiar with this kind of fast food that children liked. He looked a little apologetic when he brought the food back to the table.

“I haven’t eaten inside before. I only discovered it because I often passed by here on my way to and from work.”

“Men usually think that only people with childish personalities prefer these things,” Sang Wuyan explained for him. Su Nianqin was someone who had this thought.

“My hometown is a small town; we don’t have these things. When I came here for university, I wasn’t financially well-off. A ten-yuan hamburger was too much of a luxury for me then.”

He was very honest.

Completely unlike that other person.

Sang Wuyan smiled at him, feeling a good impression.

“What do you do now, Mr. Wu?” she had forgotten again.

“Lawyer.”

“In what field?”

“Economic law, but I also take other civil disputes.”

“High win rate?”

“Decent.”

“Then you can afford to eat whatever you want now.”

Wu Yu was amused by her words.

Sang Wuyan put a straw in the cola and placed it in front of Xiao Jie. He drank it quietly by himself. But the fine motor skill of picking up French fries was a bit difficult for him. So Sang Wuyan taught him little by little.

“I’ve heard of this illness,” Sang Wuyan had just explained it to him, and he suddenly had something to say. “His condition is already quite good, isn’t it?”

“Mm-hmm. The later the treatment, the worse it gets. His is congenital, and generally speaking, it’s hard to cure for life,” Sang Wuyan sighed.

“Hereditary?”

“Current medical knowledge can’t confirm that yet. The most likely cause is some illness the mother had during pregnancy.”

“He’s your…”

“Nothing,” Sang Wuyan touched Xiao Jie’s head. “It’s just that I often take him to crowded places, hoping he sees other children and develops a desire to approach them.”

“Can he hear what you say?”

“Perhaps, autism can automatically filter out external information they don’t want to receive.”

Suddenly, Xiao Jie poked the straw and knocked over the cola cup. Sang Wuyan quickly moved the items away. Wu Yu saw cola on Xiao Jie’s chest, so he reached for a tissue to wipe him dry.

“Mr. Wu!” Sang Wuyan immediately stopped him. “Xiao Jie isn’t used to unfamiliar people touching him.” Otherwise, he would scream immediately.

Wu Yu’s hand froze in mid-air.

“He was like this with me at first too. He needs time to accept others’ closeness,” Sang Wuyan quickly explained, to ease his embarrassment, “This process is very slow and very painful.”

Wu Yu said, “I’m very sorry.”

Sang Wuyan smiled, “It’s nothing. You get used to it.”

Wu Yu went to the cashier to get another cup of cola.

When he returned, he inadvertently saw the watch on Sang Wuyan’s left wrist. Because the heating in the restaurant was too high, Sang Wuyan had rolled up her sleeves. And since it was a man’s watch, the dial was quite large, making it stand out a bit on her slender wrist.

“Swiss-made Polley. Miss Sang has this kind of collecting hobby?” Wu Yu found a new topic.

“Huh?” Sang Wuyan didn’t quite understand.

“I used to have a Hong Kong client who was in this collecting business,” Wu Yu was also a little curious, as it was a watch for the blind.

“What did you say this is?”

“Polley. You can’t buy genuine ones in China. The price of one is enough to make me earn for many years without eating or drinking.”

“No way?” Sang Wuyan gasped.

Sang Wuyan thought, the similar one she had given Su Nianqin, though hard to buy, had cost her over two hundred yuan, and it didn’t look much different.

“It’s said they are all custom-made by hand,” Wu Yu explained.

“Custom-made?”

“I don’t really understand these things either. Anyway, it’s very expensive, but why it’s so expensive, ordinary people like us can’t understand.”

The two looked at each other and smiled.

After the laughter, the atmosphere became a little awkward.

Wu Yu looked at Sang Wuyan’s watch again, “It’s said that this kind of thing, like jewelry, also has appreciation potential.”

Sang Wuyan put down her sleeve and casually explained, “Actually… it’s a replica I found at a street stall. It looks pretty similar, doesn’t it? Hearing you say that, I just realized the real one is so expensive. No wonder the knock-off cost me several hundred.”

Wu Yu also sighed in relief upon hearing this. He also didn’t want the girl he was pursuing to have such a family background.

Sang Wuyan sent Xiao Jie to the children’s center and then rushed to the radio station herself.

She was responsible for hosting a psychological talk show. In reality, the people who called the hotline were all asking about love.

Love.

She didn’t understand it at all.

The first caller tonight was a girl who was sobbing as she recounted her love story. Sang Wuyan had no choice but to insert a piece of music to help the girl calm down.

The girl said that she and her boyfriend were classmates from the same university class. Now, with less than a year until graduation, they faced various obstacles to their love in reality.

Sang Wuyan could do nothing but offer comforting words. All she could do was let her speak and listen attentively. Speaking could help people find an outlet for their feelings. For example, she liked to talk to Cheng Yin.

At this moment, Su Nianqin had just left TORO and was preparing to return to the hotel. Xiao Qin was a little late, answering a call.

Su Nianqin took the opportunity to stand outside the car and smoke.

At this moment, a voice called him, “Mr. Su?”

Su Nianqin looked up at the sound.

“I’m Wei Hao. I wonder if Mr. Su still remembers me?”

“I remember,” Su Nianqin extended his hand to shake his hand. Wei Hao was startled at first, then immediately extended his hand as well.

“I’m working at TORO now. I saw you at the company a few days ago, but there were too many people, so I didn’t have a chance to say hello.”

“Mm-hmm,” Su Nianqin nodded blandly.

Noticing Su Nianqin’s attitude, Wei Hao had no choice but to swallow the words he had originally held in his heart. After a few polite exchanges, he turned to leave. After walking a few steps, he couldn’t help himself and turned back to say, “Mr. Su, Wuyan hasn’t been doing well these past few years. I wonder if you know?”

She hasn’t been doing well; how could he not know?

Everything, he knew.

But what did it matter?

He and she had no more entanglement.

That day, she left the hospital in a huff. He was immediately filled with remorse, but then news came from the hospital that a liver matching his father had been found and was being sent over immediately for surgery.

The surgery lasted over ten hours. By the time he recovered, he couldn’t find Sang Wuyan anywhere.

She didn’t answer her phone.

He went home to look for her, went to her and Cheng Yin’s place to look for her, even went to the radio station to look for her. He had thought of every place she could possibly be, and Yu Xiaolu had accompanied him in searching many times. He was afraid that he would accidentally miss Sang Wuyan, and also worried that his father’s condition would worsen after the surgery. He lost count of how many places he ran to in the middle of the night.

By dawn, he still hadn’t found her.

Yu Xiaolu was losing patience with him. “Nianqin, Wuyan isn’t a child anymore; she’s been here for four years; she won’t get lost. She’s angry with you and deliberately doesn’t want to see you; she’s hiding from you. What’s the point of you just worrying? You know you regret it now, so why did you make her leave then?”

He stood downstairs from Sang Wuyan’s building, speechless for a long time. Then the hospital called again, saying the situation was unusual, urging Su Nianqin to return.

When he returned at dawn, he met Sang Wuyan at the entrance.

Su Nianqin stood in front of the car, speechless for a long time after Wei Hao’s questioning. After standing for a long time, he forgot what else to say to Wei Hao and silently returned to the car.

He later learned that Sang Wuyan’s father had passed away that night. After that, he dared not, and had no right to, appear in Sang Wuyan’s world. He was a blind man, a blind man who only hurt people.

Wasn’t Assistant Qin’s father a living example?

He couldn’t give her happiness.

But he missed her so much. For over a thousand days and nights in three years, there wasn’t a single day he wasn’t reminiscing about their past. This longing intensified with the passage of time. He even wondered if one day these emotions would accumulate to the point of breaking him.

But Sang Wuyan seemed to have truly forgotten him.

So sometimes he couldn’t help but hate her. He remembered everything so vividly, how could she just forget it, go on blind dates, fall in love, get married, as if nothing happened, and even heartlessly tell him, “Su Nianqin, you seem to be doing well.”

Her tone when she said that was truly like a complete jerk.

On the way back, Xiao Qin noticed Su Nianqin leaning back in his seat, half-closed eyes, and not in a very good mood.

Xiao Zhou, who was driving, also sensed the somewhat oppressive atmosphere, so he said, “Mr. Su, would you like to listen to some music?”

Su Nianqin waved his hand.

“Master Zhou, what radio stations do you have here?” Xiao Qin asked.

Xiao Zhou was a temporary driver the branch office had arranged for Su Nianqin, a local from B City.

Xiao Zhou glanced at the time and said, “There’s a talk show at this hour that’s pretty good; I often listen to it.” Saying that, he turned on the radio and searched for that station.

Suddenly, he heard a nostalgic voice resonate in the car through the radio waves: “Now, director, please take our second call for today.” It was Sang Wuyan’s voice.

The driver, making conversation, said, “This host’s voice is sometimes really cute.”

Su Nianqin sat upright, raised his hand, and made a shushing gesture to the driver. All the way, he listened intently to the program until the end, not missing a single word.

Sang Wuyan got off work and went home. She lay on the sofa, staring blankly at the watch face. Suddenly, she felt for the lighter in her handbag.

It was the simplest frosted navy blue lighter that Su Nianqin had left there that day.

The two items were placed together. This was the only memory Su Nianqin had left her: one was forcefully taken, the other was found by herself after he forgot to take it. She had been with Su Nianqin for half a year, and he hadn’t given her anything.

The book said that women were materialistic.

Actually, it wasn’t about being materialistic, but about seeing a man’s heart through it. He didn’t care about her at all.

The first time she saw him smoke, the old Su Nianqin was a person who stayed away from all bad habits, not even staying up late. Because he had lost his sight, he especially cherished his health. That day, seeing him skillfully light a cigarette, with smoke swirling around him, she felt so heartbroken.

He was completely ruining himself.

After thinking about it, she looked at the watch again. She had actually been wearing a very valuable item for a long time, and often forgot it in the restroom.

“Such expensive things, if we can’t afford food one day, we can pawn them for money,” Cheng Yin said, coming out of the room.

“How did I end up living with such a materialistic woman?” Sang Wuyan sighed.

“What can I do? Who told you to always follow me around, as if you can’t live without me?” Cheng Yin sighed with a huff.

“Should I return it to him?”

“That would be great! You’ll get to see him openly again,” Cheng Yin teased.

Sang Wuyan didn’t speak.

“Wuyan, do you still love him?” Cheng Yin asked.

“No.”

“If you don’t love him, why are you picking up the lighter he threw away?” Cheng Yin hit the nail on the head.

“I…” Sang Wuyan was at a loss for words.

“Wuyan,” Cheng Yin looked at her. “After all these years, have you found anyone who suits you better than him?”

“I just haven’t met anyone, maybe they’ll appear soon,” Sang Wuyan said blandly.