Estranged from My Son After a Terminal Cancer Diagnosis - Chapter 1

Diagnosed with terminal cancer in my sixties, I just don’t want to go through the motions anymore.

I planned to give my house and savings to my son when he came home for New Year’s Eve.

But I waited and waited, and all I got was a call from my son:

“Mom, we’re stuck in traffic on the highway. You go ahead and eat, don’t wait for us.”

I fell silent.

Just half a minute before, my ex-husband’s new wife, Liu Fang, posted a New Year’s Eve dinner family photo on WeChat Moments.

Five people in the picture were smiling and raising their glasses to the camera.

Besides my ex-husband and Liu Fang, there was also my son, my daughter-in-law, and my grandson.

I never would have imagined that the son I painstakingly raised would run off to be filial to the “father” who never raised him a day in his life, on New Year’s Eve no less.

So, my three properties and hundreds of thousands in savings now have nothing to do with him either.

“Mom? Mom? Are you listening?”

My son, Ji Yang, called out a few times, sounding puzzled.

Seeing that I remained silent, he mumbled to someone beside him:

“Looks like the signal’s bad.”

A woman’s voice said impatiently:

“Alright, if there’s no signal, just hang up. Uncle Zhou is our dad. Do we really need to report to your mom that we’re having New Year’s Eve dinner with him?”

I recognized the speaker as my daughter-in-law, Su Ya.

She and Ji Yang had been married for over ten years, and I’d never heard her use the term “our mom” for me.

Now, she was intimately calling my ex-husband, Zhou Heng, “our dad.”

And when she referred to me, Su Ya always used “your mom” or “Haohao’s grandma.”

In her words, daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law were natural enemies. She wouldn’t be deluded enough to treat me as her mother, and I needn’t pretend to treat her as my daughter.

I just had to fulfill my duties as an elder: give money when needed, exert effort when needed, and then we could coexist peacefully.

Ji Yang vaguely assented and put his phone in his pocket, forgetting to hang up.

The voices on the other end of the line became a bit distant, and I could vaguely hear Su Ya instructing Ji Yang:

“When you toast Dad later, don’t forget to mention your brother wanting a transfer.”

They walked back into the private room, and the atmosphere at the table became lively.

I listened intently for a while and even heard Ji Yang complaining about how I used to stop him from going to Zhou Heng.

“If Mom hadn’t meddled, Xiao Ya and I would have been able to show our filial piety to Dad and Aunt Fang much sooner!”

I knew he was saying these things to curry favor with Zhou Heng.

However, Zhou Heng didn’t put on a show of deep father-son affection as Ji Yang had expected.

He just let out a dry laugh:

“Your mom not letting you come, she had her reasons too.”

Su Ya, on the side, indignantly said:

“Dad, don’t speak up for her anymore. She’s completely selfish, no wonder you couldn’t get along with her back then!”

“Exactly, Dad. After all these years, I’ve come to realize it. She insisted on fighting for my custody, wasn’t it just so I could support her in her old age?”

My vision went black, and I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

Over thirty years. I raised Ji Yang alone, supporting him all the way through graduate school.

And this is what I raised?

He once vowed earnestly:

“Mom, when I make something of myself, I’ll support you!”

Who knew that in his heart, he had always held resentment towards me?

Resenting me for taking his custody back then, resenting me for not giving him the chance to get close to that capable “father.”

Now, seeing that Zhou Heng and Liu Fang’s biological daughter had settled abroad, he felt his chance had come.

He’d rather step on me than cling to Zhou Heng.

Unfortunately, he miscalculated.

Zhou Heng wouldn’t give him a single cent.

And now, the three properties and hundreds of thousands in savings I was preparing to give him, I no longer plan to.

2

I didn’t want to listen anymore, so I hung up the phone and got up to reheat the cold food.

Spicy boiled beef, which Ji Yang loved, Ma Po tofu, which Su Ya enjoyed, and braised pork balls, which Haohao adored… every dish was made to their liking.

My stomach wasn’t good, so I picked a few light dishes and ate a few bites.

Just as I finished eating and was about to clear the table, the phone suddenly rang.

Ji Yang stammered on the other end:

“Mom, did you forget to hang up earlier? How do I have a call here that lasted over ten minutes…”

I said calmly:

“Really? I didn’t notice. Your end was quiet earlier, so I didn’t bother, I went to reheat the food.”

He visibly relaxed a little:

“Alright, Mom, we’re still stuck in traffic on the highway. We won’t get there until tomorrow.”

Haohao snatched the phone, excitedly saying:

“Grandma! Did you buy the iPad?”

My gaze fell on the Apple box beside me.

Last National Day, when they came home, I specially picked out the latest model of a smart watch for Haohao.

Unexpectedly, Haohao started crying and throwing a tantrum, saying it wasn’t the brand he wanted.

He didn’t want Xiaomi, he wanted Little Genius.

Su Ya dotingly squatted down to comfort him:

“Haohao, don’t cry. Grandma meant well but did something wrong. How about this, Mommy will buy you the watch, and when New Year’s comes, Grandma can buy you an iPad, okay?”

Su Ya’s words made me uncomfortable, but they rarely came home, and Haohao was there, so I didn’t want to make a scene over something so small.

On the other end of the phone, Su Ya’s smiling voice came through:

“Your grandma loves you so much, she must have bought it already! Right, Haohao’s grandma?”

I didn’t speak.

The Spring Festival Gala on TV began its countdown, and faint crackling sounds of firecrackers could be heard from the other end of the line. Ji Yang quickly found an excuse to hang up.

After all, how could there be firecrackers on a highway?

I unwrapped the square packaging box and fiddled with it, following the instruction manual.

My best friend, Jun Mei, has an identical one that she uses to watch TV dramas. Perfect. When I’m in the hospital for treatment later, I can use it to pass the time.

After putting down the iPad, I opened another box next to it.

This was originally for Su Ya, something called “Black Bandage,” recommended by a sales assistant at Jin Ying.

Skincare product packaging nowadays is too elaborate. A huge box containing such a tiny bottle.

I unscrewed the cap and scooped a bit onto my face.

I couldn’t describe the feeling, but I knew it was definitely better than the ten-dollar face cream on my bathroom counter.

Next to it were three thick red envelopes, each containing 6,000 yuan in cash.

I poured out all the money, took out six bills, and put them back in.

One hundred per person, no more.

I could already imagine what Su Ya’s expression would be like tomorrow.

She would definitely make a scene, threatening to divorce Ji Yang.

She knew I was most afraid of them not getting along, so she often deliberately talked about divorce in front of me when things didn’t go her way. But this time, I wouldn’t care.

I didn’t close my eyes all night.

These days, I’d been suffering from insomnia due to stomach pain and hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a long time.

But tonight, it hurt especially badly.

Around seven o’clock, I had just seen off a New Year’s visitor when Ji Yang arrived with Su Ya and Haohao.

Haohao, clutching a bag of fruit, rushed into my arms and clearly said:

“Grandma, happy New Year, red envelope please!”

Ji Yang, smiling, said from the side:

“Mom, Haohao knows you love tangerines, so he specially picked these for you. Wishing you smooth sailing and great fortune.”

I took the bag; it contained six tangerines.

I remembered the photo Liu Fang posted on WeChat Moments last night. Ji Yang had taken Zhou Heng and Liu Fang to a fancy restaurant for New Year’s Eve dinner.

He even gave Zhou Heng two bottles of Maotai and Liu Fang a hand-embroidered silk scarf.

And when it came to me, it was just six tangerines.

“Grandma, happy New Year, red envelope please!”

Haohao called out again.

I patted his head and handed him the three red envelopes.

The red envelopes were thin. Su Ya only glanced at them, and her face immediately fell.

To my surprise, she didn’t make a fuss. She just quietly nudged Ji Yang with her elbow, and they exchanged a knowing glance.

Haohao, sharp-eyed, saw the iPad I had placed on the table and excitedly ran over:

“My iPad!”

He lit up the screen but saw that he needed to enter a password.

I pulled the iPad out of his hand:

“This is Grandma’s for her own use. Your dad can buy yours.”

Haohao froze for a moment, then started flailing his arms and legs at the air, crying loudly:

“It’s mine, it’s mine! Grandma said she’d buy it for me, Grandma is bad! Hit Grandma!”

Su Ya quickly pulled him into her arms, glancing at me with a displeased expression, muttering:

“Haohao’s grandma, why would an old lady in her sixties like you need an iPad?!”

I looked at her calmly:

“What, am I already half in the grave, so I don’t deserve to use these new gadgets anymore?”

Ji Yang stepped in to mediate:

“Mom, look at what you’re saying. Xiao Ya didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that you wouldn’t understand Apple’s system. I’ll buy you a different brand another day.”

“No need, I like this one. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out myself. I don’t need you to teach me.”

Ji Yang was momentarily speechless.

He gave Su Ya a look, signaling her to take Haohao to the bathroom to wipe his tears.

Only the two of us were left in the living room.

“Mom, are you upset that I went to Dad’s for New Year’s Eve dinner yesterday?”

I didn’t speak.

He was very smart. My attitude was unusual, and he immediately guessed that what happened last night hadn’t been kept secret.

Ji Yang sighed:

“Mom. What I did was indeed inappropriate, but I had no choice!

“It’s hard for me to work outside! My dad has money, power, and connections. Many things can be done in minutes if he just opens his mouth. I really don’t understand why you don’t want me to get close to him?

“Dad and Aunt Fang’s daughter has settled abroad now. It’s New Year’s, a time when they long for family affection. This is an opportunity for me, do you understand? Can’t you think about me for once?”

He spoke with increasing agitation, a thin layer of sweat appearing on his forehead.

I suddenly asked:

“Do you think he wants to be close to you?”

Ji Yang froze for a moment, a hint of awkwardness flashing across his face:

“Isn’t this all your fault? It’s all your fault for taking my custody back then, that’s why Dad can’t get close to me now!

“Mom, it wasn’t easy for you to raise me, and I used to think you were a great mother. But if I think about it carefully, you are actually the most selfish!

“Isn’t there a saying online now? ‘If you don’t have money, don’t have kids’! You didn’t have money, so why did you fight for my custody?

“You have a son to rely on, and someone to take care of you in old age, but do you know how much hardship I suffered growing up with you? If I had followed Dad back then, I’d be the one living abroad today!

“Mom, you’ve been dragging me down for so many years. I’m begging you, please stop holding me back, okay?!”

He pressed his palms together above his head, pleading with me, his voice almost hoarse.

4

A “buzz” exploded in my head.

I looked at Ji Yang.

Like looking at a stranger.

There was helplessness in his eyes, but more of it was resentment.

The air conditioner blew warm air, but my hands and feet were as cold as ice.

When we divorced, Zhou Heng was the party at fault, but his family pulled strings and made me leave with nothing.

I moved into my parents’ old house with Ji Yang.

At that time, Ji Yang was less than a year old and didn’t understand anything. He would just wave his tiny hands and unconsciously utter “ma,” “ma.”

I was determined not to let this child suffer.

I worked during the day and set up a stall at the night market in the evenings, working tirelessly to earn money.

Ji Yang wanted to learn painting, he wanted to learn table tennis, and I satisfied his every wish.

When he was in junior high, he mentioned at the dinner table one day that he envied other classmates who lived in apartment buildings.

I spent a sleepless night, took out all my savings to buy a house, and moved him from the flat into an apartment.

In high school, he needed tutoring for math and physics. He didn’t want large classes; he wanted one-on-one tutoring.

The price difference was double, but I thought, the child is studious and eager to learn, I can’t hold him back. I gritted my teeth and hired the most expensive tutor for him.

Later, he went to college. My parents’ old house was demolished, and they got several apartments. My mom sold one, and the rest were rented out, with the rent deposited into my account.

I knew that when children grew up, they needed to socialize, so I gave Ji Yang three thousand yuan a month for living expenses, afraid that giving him less would make him feel inferior among his classmates.

After all these years, though I hadn’t given him a life of great wealth, I had done everything I could to support him. How could he say such things?

I was silent for a long time, finally finding my voice:

“Yang Yang, since that’s what you truly think, then coincidentally, I also have something to tell you – let’s sever our mother-son relationship.”

Ji Yang’s lips twitched a few times, and he turned his face away:

“Mom, don’t be so stubborn. I didn’t mean that!”

“But I do mean it. From now on, I, Ji Shuhua, have no relationship with you.”

“Mom, stop being ridiculous, okay?

“I know Dad wronged you back then, and you don’t like me getting close to him. I understand, I completely understand!

“But he’s still my dad, after all! Please don’t cause trouble for me at this critical moment, okay?”

He irritably ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m not causing trouble. If you want to go to Zhou Heng for help, go ahead. But I’m warning you, no matter how much you flatter him, he won’t acknowledge you as his son.

“There’s a secret I’ve never told you. Actually, you—”

“Haohao’s grandma, stop sowing discord!”

Su Ya led Haohao over.

“Why does Dad reject Ji Yang? Isn’t it all because of you! You’ve monopolized Ji Yang for so many years, how could Dad be happy about that?”

She rolled her eyes at me, then turned to stare at Ji Yang:

“Ji Yang, she doesn’t care about your feelings, so you don’t need to care about hers. Just talk to her openly today!”

I also stared at Ji Yang:

“Go on.”

Ji Yang moved his lips awkwardly, hesitated for a few seconds, and then said:

“Mom, you know that I haven’t lived with Dad for all these years, and he always finds it hard to get close to me. Xiao Ya and I discussed it, and we’re going to change Haohao’s surname from Ji to Zhou.”

He paused, glanced at my expression, and added:

“Actually, I should have been the one to change it, but I’m old now, and changing my surname would cause too many inconveniences. Most importantly, I was afraid it would hurt your feelings…”

Listen to him. He even thought about me, afraid of hurting my feelings?

I couldn’t help but laugh:

“What does that matter? I support both you and Haohao changing your surnames.

“We’ve already cut ties, so you don’t need to consult me about anything you do.”

Su Ya sneered dismissively:

“Haohao’s grandma, we’re not here to ask for your opinion, we’re here to inform you!

“Originally, Ji Yang couldn’t bear to say it, but who knew you’d keep talking about cutting ties? Since you don’t care about family ties, then don’t blame us.”

I nodded:

“Then it’s settled. Ji Yang, from today onwards, we are strangers.

“I don’t need you to support me in my old age, and my property has nothing to do with you.”

Ji Yang’s expression instantly flashed with panic:

“Mom, why are you doing this?!”

He tried to come and pull me, but Su Ya held him back:

“Ji Yang! She doesn’t even acknowledge you, why are you still clinging to her?!”

She gave Ji Yang a meaningful look and led Haohao out the door first.

Ji Yang rubbed his hands awkwardly:

“Mom, we’ll get going now. We’ll come see you in a few days…

“Don’t take what Xiao Ya said to heart just now. She’s just like that, hot-tempered, but she’s not a bad person at heart.

“No matter what, you’re my mom. I won’t be an unfilial son and abandon you.”

I didn’t reply, coldly picking up my phone and scrolling through short videos.

Ji Yang didn’t close the door properly when he left. I went to close it and happened to hear Su Ya’s voice drifting from the hallway.

“…You’re her only son. Her money will be yours sooner or later.”

“But I think Mom is really angry this time. What if she really severs ties with me?”

“Are you stupid? Being angry is one thing, but how could she sever ties? I’ve only heard of children cutting ties with parents, never parents cutting ties with children.

“When she’s lying in bed unable to move in another ten years, you’ll have the final say anyway!

“Alright, don’t worry. There are no overnight grudges in a family. Our priority now is to quickly mend our relationship with Dad. Haohao will be starting junior high in two years, and he’ll need Dad’s help a lot!”

She thought it through well.

I had been good to Ji Yang my whole life without expecting anything in return, so I could be offended.

Once they mended their relationship with my ex-husband, they would come back, humble themselves, apologize, and then we’d be a family again.

Zhou Heng’s help and my assets – they wanted to get both.

Unfortunately, they were wrong.

Ji Yang isn’t my and Zhou Heng’s biological son.

Ji Yang is the child Zhou Heng and I adopted.

Thirty years ago, Zhou Heng was diagnosed with infertility.

He didn’t want to be without an heir, so he persuaded me to go to the orphanage with him and adopt a newborn boy.

This boy had congenital heart disease, and his family couldn’t afford the surgery, so they left a note in his swaddling clothes and abandoned him at the orphanage gate.

Zhou Heng named this boy Zhou Jiye. We planned to have the surgery done when the child was a bit older.

Who would have thought that six months later, Liu Fang, Zhou Heng’s subordinate, showed up with a pregnancy test report.

She said she was pregnant with Zhou Heng’s child.

How could that be?

Zhou Heng had infertility!

Zhou Heng himself didn’t believe it, saying Liu Fang must be scamming him.

But Liu Fang insisted.

Because it concerned a descendant, Zhou Heng’s parents took it very seriously. They specially took Liu Fang abroad for a prenatal paternity test.

The results showed that the child in her belly was indeed Zhou Heng’s.

Only then did Zhou Heng admit his affair with Liu Fang.

He went to the hospital for another check-up and discovered that the previous infertility diagnosis was a misdiagnosis; he hadn’t lost his fertility at all.

At that time, he still had feelings for me and swore he would break cleanly with Liu Fang.

He suggested returning Zhou Jiye to the orphanage, and we would have our own child.

After all, “a child without blood relations can’t be truly raised.”

I refused.

Leaving aside the fact that I couldn’t accept a man’s infidelity.

Simply returning the child to the orphanage was something I couldn’t do.

A child isn’t an item; how can they be returned?

What if there’s no blood relation?

He was destined to come into my life, and he was my child. I wanted him to grow up normally, like any other child.

After the divorce, I changed the child’s name to Ji Yang.

When I adopted him from the orphanage, the director said that the child’s parents were truly heartless. On the eighth day of the twelfth lunar month, with snow still falling, they abandoned the child late at night under a poplar tree at the orphanage gate.

By the time the director woke up and opened the door in the morning, the child’s face was already blue from the cold, and he couldn’t even cry.

So I named him “Yang” (poplar).

I hoped he would be like a poplar tree: resilient, upright, and strong in life.

We spent many years together like an ordinary mother and son.

When he was little, he was very clingy to me. His mother was his whole world.

I still remember him toddling towards me with his short legs, calling out “mama,” “mama.”

I remember him writing me a card with his wobbly handwriting: [Mom, happy holidaz!]

I remember him, imitating the child in a TV commercial, bringing me a basin of foot-washing water after I came back from setting up my night market stall: “Mom, wash your feet!”

I remember him getting 50 yuan for a composition, unwilling to buy new stationery for himself, but buying me a bouquet of carnations: “Mom. This is my first pot of gold!”

Thirty years passed, and he still called me “Mom,” but his eyes held more calculation.

I once thought “Mom” was the most beautiful word in the world, but today, I feel lost.

When a child no longer needs to rely on their parents emotionally, interests become the standard for weighing closeness.

While Ji Yang and his wife were busy arranging Haohao’s surname change, I was busy selling my house.

The New Year period is a peak time for house viewings. I listed three properties at once, and the real estate agent was exceptionally enthusiastic.

I simply packed up and moved out.

Actually, there wasn’t much to pack.

I was used to being frugal and didn’t have many personal belongings.

I left all the furniture for the next owner, and for the remaining miscellaneous items, such as Haohao’s scooter and bathtub, I paid someone to haul them away.

I used to keep them, thinking Haohao might come to stay for a few days sometime, but ever since Haohao started elementary school, Su Ya never let him stay with me again.

I knew she didn’t like Haohao being close to me, his grandmother.

When Haohao was about eight months old, he would call everyone “mama,” “mama.”

He called Ji Yang “mama,” he called small flowers and cats “mama,” and Su Ya just laughed; but when he called me “mama,” Su Ya was so angry she almost tore the roof off.

She sternly demanded to know if I was secretly teaching Haohao to call me “Mom”? Was I trying to snatch away her Haohao?

I was angry too.

I paid for a nanny for her, eight thousand a month.

Haohao’s formula and toys were all chosen by her, and I paid for them.

But she wasn’t grateful at all. In her words, “Why should I be? Ji Yang is my son, Haohao is my grandson, so I’m paying on Ji Yang’s behalf.”

Even if she wasn’t grateful, that was fine. An eight-month-old child innocently called me “Mom,” and she made such an uproar.

I’m a human being too, not made of dough, I have a temper.

Ji Yang had to persuade me:

“Xiao Ya just gave birth, she’s very protective of her child. Just bear with it, don’t argue with her, be careful she might get depressed.”

Okay, I endured.

But Su Ya was still surly and ill-tempered.

Haohao waved his little arms, wanting me to hold him, and she would throw tantrums at home.

Later, a nanny advised her:

“The child is small, being close to grandma isn’t a big deal. If you let the child be close to her, she’ll spend money more freely.

“Once the child is older and sensible, he’ll only be close to his parents. At that time, you can keep the child by your side and have less contact with grandma. You might only see her a few times a year, and it’s hard to say if the child will even remember her!”

I really look down on people who talk behind the backs of their employers.

Su Ya, however, took the nanny’s words to heart.

Since Haohao started elementary school, he came to my place less and less. On weekdays, I would cook and deliver nutritious meals to their home.

After clearing out the old items, I felt much more relaxed. I picked up my large suitcase and moved into my best friend Yu Jun Mei’s house.

Her husband was rehired by a university in a neighboring city after retirement, so she was usually home alone.

She’s DINK (Dual Income, No Kids), but she loves children and often volunteers at orphanages. After I adopted Ji Yang, she became his godmother and bought him many things over the years.

I told Jun Mei everything that had happened in the past few days, only omitting the fact that I had terminal stomach cancer.

Jun Mei was furious and heartbroken.

“I watched Yang Yang grow up. Yang Yang used to be so well-behaved and sensible. How did he become like this? It’s all that Su Ya’s fault. I knew she was trouble from the start!”

I knew Jun Mei was worried that if she scolded Ji Yang too harshly, I would lose face, so she turned to blame Su Ya.

But in reality, Ji Yang’s actions this time had been foreshadowed.

I remember when Haohao was two or three years old, Ji Yang once took him to play with water in the bathroom. After they were done, he didn’t clean up, and I slipped and injured my right leg when I walked in.

I hadn’t rested much at home when Su Ya urged me to go to the farmers’ market to buy free-range chicken for Haohao’s chicken porridge.

The farmers’ market was four or five stops away from home. When I hobbled off the bus, I moved a bit slowly, and the driver became impatient:

“Dragging your feet, if you’re lame, stay home!”

He didn’t wait for me to let go of the door handle before slamming the door shut with a “clang” and stepping on the gas, driving away from the stop.

After returning home, I asked Ji Yang to help me complain about the driver.

What did Ji Yang say?

He complained that I was making a big deal out of nothing:

“Mom, don’t fuss over such a small matter. If he dared to close the car door, he must have thought you were already standing firm.

“Even if what you say is true, maybe that day the driver encountered something and was in a bad mood. You should be understanding.

“Besides, do you know about the principle of the happy person yielding? What if I complain, and the driver gets punished, and then he retaliates against me, or Xiao Ya and Haohao? Have you considered the consequences?”

In his heart, my feelings were negligible.

So, regarding this matter of my ex-husband, while Su Ya certainly played a role in instigating it from behind, it was also the result of Ji Yang’s own weighing of pros and cons.

“Shuhua, when are you going to tell Yang Yang about his true identity? If he knew, he’d surely regret it.”

Regret what?

Regret not being able to curry favor with Zhou Heng and losing my inheritance?

I said lightly:

“Soon. I don’t need to tell him. Someone will tell him very soon.”

Ji Yang wanted to arrange a free grandson for Zhou Heng. Whether Zhou Heng was happy about it was one thing, but Liu Fang certainly wouldn’t be.

Sure enough, a couple of days later, Zhou Heng called me.

“Shuhua, what are your son and daughter-in-law doing now? Why did they suddenly change Haohao’s surname to Zhou?

“Yesterday, they came to me talking about holding a banquet and some kind of surname-changing ceremony. Sigh, you should talk to them. If it weren’t for me stopping her, Xiao Liu was ready to confront him.”

Perhaps with age, he felt a bit guilty towards me for what happened back then, acting as if he was thinking of both me and Ji Yang.

I said coolly:

“What else could they be doing? They look down on the small change I give them, so they want to acknowledge you, their powerful and influential father.”

Zhou Heng gave a bitter smile:

“It was my fault back then too, insisting on adopting a child, and then… leaving the child to you alone again.

“That New Year’s Eve dinner, I didn’t actually want to go. Xiao Liu insisted. And she was the one who decided to accept those gifts. You know how she is, she likes to take small advantages, but if her interests are truly touched, she definitely won’t stand for it.

“Yesterday, when she heard Ji Yang changed Haohao’s surname, Xiao Liu almost called him to argue, luckily I stopped her in time.

“I think you’re the one who needs to speak up about this. You’re closest to him. If someone else says it, he might not be able to accept it.”

I smiled:

“He’s not a child anymore. What’s there to not accept?”

I had always been afraid that telling Ji Yang the truth about his birth would be bad for him, but I was overthinking it.

He was already in his early thirties, had been working in society for nearly ten years, and was no longer the child abandoned under the poplar tree in the middle of winter, needing my protection.

“Don’t stop Liu Fang from confronting him. Let her do it.”

Liu Fang has always been sharp-tongued and doesn’t care about saving face when she speaks. It would be most effective if she was the one to say it.

I hung up the phone after saying this, not waiting for Zhou Heng to reply.

Liu Fang didn’t disappoint me.

The next morning, my phone received hundreds of missed calls and countless text messages.

I casually opened a few:

[Mom, what’s going on? Is what Aunt Fang said true?]

[I’m not your and Dad’s biological child?]

[I’m a boy, how could I have been sent to an orphanage?]

[Mom, why did you sell the house? Where are you living now?]

[Mom, Haohao has been crying for Grandma these past few days, where are you? Xiao Yang and I will come pick you up.]

Against all odds, Su Ya called me “Mom.”

I didn’t bother reading the rest of the messages and blocked Ji Yang and Su Ya.

Ji Yang couldn’t reach me, so he remembered to call Jun Mei.

Jun Mei held her constantly ringing phone and looked at me. I shook my head, and she sighed, then blocked Ji Yang too.

“What are you going to do now? Are you just going to stay here with me? Oh, right, let’s take a trip to Yunnan. I know a tour group.”

Jun Mei had no children or grandchildren to look after, so she had a more relaxed life than me. She had saved quite a bit of money over the years and often traveled.

Although I also had savings, Su Ya and Ji Yang didn’t cook, and I couldn’t bear to let Haohao always eat greasy takeout, so I would deliver meals to them several times a week, leaving me no time for long trips.

We stayed in Yunnan for over ten days. The scenery there was beautiful, and the wide-open views also broadened one’s mind.

Jun Mei had studied photography at a senior citizens’ university. She held her heavy camera and took pictures of me. Each photo captured my smile.

Jun Mei said:

“Shuhua, I really admire you. If I were in your situation now, I can’t imagine how heartbroken I’d be.”

In truth, how could I not be heartbroken?

But I didn’t have many days left to live.

While I could still smile, I should smile more.

I was born crying, and I want to leave smiling.

My illness still couldn’t be kept from Jun Mei.

Because it was already terminal, sometimes the pain would become unbearable, and vomiting was a common occurrence.

One day, we went to Dianchi Lake to feed red-billed gulls. A seagull flew over, ate the food, and then pecked my palm with its sharp beak.

I flinched.

Jun Mei teased:

“Look at this little bird, it even bites the hand that feeds it.”

As soon as she spoke, she suddenly lost her smile, probably afraid I would think of Ji Yang.

I was about to speak when my throat suddenly itched. I covered my mouth with a tissue and coughed violently.

After coughing, I removed the tissue and saw it stained with flecks of blood.

Jun Mei’s eyes welled up.

She murmured:

“How could this happen…”

We ended our trip early.

On the way back, Jun Mei was scrolling through her phone and suddenly stared at the screen and exclaimed:

“Shuhua, isn’t this your daughter-in-law?”

The woman with swollen red eyes in the video was Su Ya.

She was crying to the camera, accusing our family of “marriage fraud.”

According to her, when she and Ji Yang were discussing marriage, I promised to leave all the properties under my name to Ji Yang.

But after she married into the family, I severed the mother-son relationship with Ji Yang, ignored them, and didn’t even care about Haohao, whom she had given birth to.

Not only that, she also uploaded a video of my bathroom counter, saying that I lived luxuriously and was stingy with my children and grandchildren, but I myself used thousands of yuan worth of skincare products.

The camera focused on a close-up of that jar of “Black Bandage” for several seconds.

Jun Mei angrily threw her phone onto the high-speed rail’s small table:

“Your daughter-in-law is really good at twisting facts! This is just blatant nonsense!

“Back then, when they were discussing marriage, Su Ya’s family gave you so many problems. You gave them double the betrothal gift, and you bought them the wedding house outright. I told you, you shouldn’t have agreed to those conditions!”

Back then, why hadn’t I tried to persuade Ji Yang?

But he was set on Su Ya.

He said Su Ya didn’t look down on his single-parent family, didn’t look down on his low emotional intelligence. They had been dating since their first year of graduate school, and he couldn’t let Su Ya down.

I thought, fine, it’s his marriage, his life. As long as the young couple’s relationship is good, I’ll put up with a little hardship.

Besides, with double the betrothal gift and a fully paid wedding house, the young couple would have an easier time after marriage.

“Your daughter-in-law said she’s divorcing Ji Yang, is that true?”

Jun Mei dragged the video to the end and asked me in astonishment.

I gently shook my head.

To be fair, Su Ya was indeed sincere towards Ji Yang.

Her hostility towards me was largely because she believed “mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are inherently rivals” and “single mothers are overly possessive of their sons.”

She and Ji Yang were a united front, both emotionally and in terms of interests.

Therefore, they wouldn’t divorce.

Her running to the internet to complain about “marriage fraud” was partly to force me to step in and appease them, and partly to gain sympathy from netizens and earn some tips.

Sure enough, most of the comments supported her.

Although some netizens said, “It’s the in-laws’ money, they can spend it however they want,” more netizens felt that I had wronged Su Ya and flocked to the live stream to send Su Ya gifts.

Back at Jun Mei’s house, I asked for her help to record a video for me.

Facing the camera, I calmly narrated how I had raised Ji Yang, adopted from an orphanage, into adulthood.

Then, I listed, one by one, my contributions to Ji Yang and Su Ya’s small family over the years.

This included paying for a nanny for five years, and after Haohao started elementary school and the nanny left, I would deliver meals to them several times a week, and so on.

Now, the tables had turned.

Su Ya held on for a few days for the sake of tips, but in the end, she was so heavily criticized that she deleted her account.

Netizens then swarmed to follow my account, hoping I would start a live stream to tell them more about the matter, as it would be difficult for them to assuage their resentment towards Ji Yang’s couple otherwise.

I didn’t start a live stream. I just made an electronic album of my travel photos in Yunnan and uploaded it to my homepage.

Life has many beautiful things, and I don’t want to trap myself in resentment during the last days of my life.

I want to leave an image in people’s minds not of a resentful woman who constantly complains about her misfortunes, but of a cheerful and lovable old lady.

Not long after, Ji Yang came knocking.

After some time apart, he looked much more haggard. Though not yet forty, he had some streaks of white hair.

Jun Mei went to the kitchen to make tea.

Ji Yang half-knelt before me, pleading:

“Mom, Xiao Ya and I were wrong about this. We were misled by greed.”

He pointed to the corner of his mouth:

“Mom, these past few days, I’ve been overwhelmed. Look, I even have mouth sores.

“You know, I work in business. Those Fujian bosses I collaborate with all value family. Because of this, they have quite a bit of an issue with me.

“If this continues, the reputation I’ve worked so hard to build will collapse!”

He irritably ran his hands through his hair. I noticed that where he had scratched, some white hairs weren’t so white anymore.

Oh, so he had prepared this to make me think he was having a miserable time.

“When I left home, Haohao even said that I absolutely had to bring Grandma back.

“Since New Year’s, our family hasn’t had a reunion dinner yet. Xiao Ya made your favorite sliced boiled pork and Ma Po tofu, just waiting for me to bring you back!”

“What sliced boiled pork and Ma Po tofu?” Jun Mei came out of the kitchen with a teacup, her brows slightly furrowed. “Your mom has stomach… stomach issues. How can she eat such spicy food?”

Ji Yang clapped his hands together, smiling ingratiatingly at Jun Mei:

“Tsk, Auntie still thinks things through. I’ll have Xiao Ya change all the dishes and make them light again.

“Hey, Mom, how about this, we just go eat Huaiyang cuisine, how about Zui Shi Lou? Let you enjoy the treatment of a state banquet!”

“Then you can also start another live stream. All your fans are looking forward to you updating more ‘silver-haired life’ content.”

He grew more excited as he spoke, not noticing my disappointed gaze.

Start a live stream? Does he want me to showcase my life?

Probably not.

First, it’s for the tips from my fans.

Second, it’s to announce to those who are still following this matter that what happened between me and them was just an internal family conflict, just a misunderstanding. Once the misunderstanding is resolved, we’re still a family.

Third, it’s to give an explanation to his business partners.

I waved my hand:

“No need. You can invite your dad. Isn’t his ‘silver-haired life’ much more exciting than mine?”

A flicker of gloom passed through Ji Yang’s eyes.

How would he dare to bother Zhou Heng?

In fact, even when Su Ya posted videos to slander me, she didn’t dare mention Zhou Heng’s name.

“Mom, aren’t you just trying to make fun of me?

“I didn’t know Uncle Zhou wasn’t my biological dad before. This whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.”

His eyes darted around, and he saw my suitcase placed by the living room. He quickly walked over, pushed the suitcase, and started to walk out:

“Mom, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go eat.”

“Put it down!” I struggled to stand up and block him. “I’m not going with you.”

“Mom!”

Ji Yang saw my resolute attitude, and annoyance appeared on his face.

He took a few deep breaths and loudly said:

“What’s wrong with you, Mom? When did you become so stubborn?

“Isn’t it just changing Haohao’s surname? Can’t we just change it back? Besides, Xiao Ya and I have admitted our mistake and apologized. What more do you want from us? Should I kneel and kowtow to you?”

He bent his knees, and with a “thud,” knelt on the floor, looking up at me:

“For so many years, I’ve always been your pride, you admit that, right? Just because I made a blunder, you’re really going to turn your back on me?

“Don’t think I don’t know, you sold all three houses. You have several million in your hand now! You’re over sixty, what do you want to do by hoarding so much money? Do you want to find another toy boy for a stepfather?”

In an instant, a searing pain spread from my stomach, quickly encompassing my entire body. I bent over, clutching my abdomen, trembling all over.

Tinnitus surged like waves, from my left ear to my right ear. The entire world was deafeningly silent.

I saw Jun Mei looking stern, her lips moving, as if she was scolding Ji Yang.

Ji Yang, his face full of defiance, retorted.

When I finally recovered from the tinnitus, I just happened to hear Ji Yang yelling in exasperation:

“You’re the one who corrupted my mom! You DINK people are all twisted, you can’t stand to see my mom have such an excellent son!”

“Slap!”

A crisp smack interrupted his angry shouting.

Ji Yang looked at me in disbelief:

“Mom, you hit me?”

I closed my eyes and said with extreme disappointment:

“I only regret not hitting you enough before.

“Leave. If you don’t, I’ll call the police.”

Ji Yang left reluctantly.

I apologized to Jun Mei.

Jun Mei wasn’t too bothered by Ji Yang’s offense. She recalled how, a while ago, her distant relative wanted to pass their youngest son to her for adoption, and when she refused, that relative cursed at her even worse than Ji Yang had.

That night, I thought long and hard and decided to move out of Jun Mei’s house.

Ji Yang had left unwillingly and would definitely come back.

He and Su Ya weren’t fools. The millions of yuan I had were a huge temptation for them, and they wouldn’t give up.

Before saying goodbye to Jun Mei, I pondered for a long time. I found a slip of paper with a phone number and address from my luggage, picked up my phone, and dialed the number on the paper.

“Hello? Is this Li Jianmin’s house? Did you lose a boy with congenital heart disease in the winter of ’88?”

As I expected, Li Jianmin’s family was overjoyed to receive my call.

After adopting Ji Yang, I had once investigated his biological parents’ whereabouts based on the information given by the orphanage director, and I actually found them.

But I never went to look for them.

I was just afraid that one day, if Ji Yang learned about his birth, if he wanted to know his biological parents’ whereabouts, I could let him choose whether or not to acknowledge his ancestry.

Li Jianmin and Zhao Xiuqin lived in a nearby village.

Back then, they brought the less-than-a-month-old Ji Yang to the city for medical treatment, but they were scared by the surgery cost and simply abandoned the child near the orphanage.

Anyway, Xiuqin was only twenty years old and had plenty of opportunities to have more children.

Later, they indeed had two more children in a row, but Li Jianmin always felt uneasy because the latter two were girls.

But they were afraid of fines, so they ultimately didn’t have a third child.

It wasn’t until recent years, with the “three-child craze,” that Li Jianmin and Zhao Xiuqin put all their effort into trying to have another son.

Unexpectedly, she actually got pregnant.

The only thing that bothered them was that their eldest and second daughters were both rebellious, having gone to work in distant cities early on, unwilling to marry or help subsidize the family to raise their younger brother.

These two people, who were so short on money, suddenly learned that the son they had abandoned years ago was not only alive and well but doing quite well, having become a small boss and opened a small company. They would surely be like horseflies drawn to fresh blood.

Next, Ji Yang and Su Ya would have a headache for a while.

After leaving Jun Mei’s house, I went to another city and found myself a sanatorium.

The environment here was very good, facing the sea, with spring warmth and flowers blooming.

Jun Mei visited me a few times. She told me that after Ji Yang was entangled by his biological parents, he was indeed overwhelmed for a long time, and he was forced to pay a large sum of money.

I wasn’t surprised.

Someone like Li Jianmin, who could heartlessly abandon his biological child under a tree in the dead of winter, certainly wouldn’t be easy to deal with.

When Jun Mei wasn’t around, Xiaoping, the nursing aide at the sanatorium, took care of me.

She was a kind young girl. Sometimes when I was in pain, I even had to hide it from her, otherwise, she would cry sadly.

My cancer cells hadn’t metastasized, but I ultimately chose not to undergo chemotherapy.

A body that has undergone radiation therapy cannot donate organs, which would go against my wishes.

Moreover, I couldn’t imagine myself being critically ill, thin to the point of being unrecognizable, weakly lying in a hospital bed, with tubes all over my body.

I wanted to leave gracefully.

On a stormy evening, I lit a basin of charcoal in the center of my room.

Then I took out a yellowed notebook from a drawer and slowly flipped through it.

It was my old ledger.

Every night, after returning from the night market, I would coax Ji Yang to sleep, then turn on a dim lamp and meticulously record the day’s expenses and income.

From time to time, I would look up at my child, helping him pull up the blanket he had kicked off.

The wind and rain pounded against the window. It was cold outside, but I would forever sleep in a warmth as pleasant as spring.

Epilogue

During the few days when the nursing aide Xiaoping was on leave, Ji Shuhua, whom she had been caring for, passed away.

When Xiaoping returned, before she could even grieve, she received a shocking piece of news.

She was named a beneficiary in Ji Shuhua’s will.

The other nursing aides she worked with envied her, saying she was so lucky to get 200,000 yuan out of nowhere, just like winning the lottery.

But Xiaoping was still melancholic.

She thought, why do good people not live long?

The day she returned was also the day Yu Jun Mei received the news and came to handle the funeral arrangements.

Ji Shuhua had left Yu Jun Mei 500,000 yuan.

The remaining money was partly donated to a charity organization and partly to an orphanage.

Xiaoping walked over to Yu Jun Mei and saw her holding a stack of documents and a few thin pieces of paper.

“Are these Aunt Ji’s belongings?”

Yu Jun Mei nodded.

They were Ji Shuhua’s pre-signed organ donation agreement. In her will, she asked Yu Jun Mei to help her complete the subsequent procedures.

She wrote:

[I have no relatives left in this world. If family signatures are needed, please help me find Zhou Heng.]

The will also mentioned missing her parents, cherishing her past, and her friendship with Yu Jun Mei in their youth, but there was no mention of Ji Yang.

Yu Jun Mei couldn’t help but wonder if Ji Yang would be sad, heartbroken, or filled with remorse if he knew Shuhua had passed away.

As Shuhua’s closest friend, Yu Jun Mei knew best how much Shuhua had sacrificed for Ji Yang.

After divorcing Zhou Heng, Shuhua had once dated a man. He was also divorced, and they were considered a good match.

But that man didn’t like Ji Yang. Several times, he spoke coldly to Ji Yang, making the young Ji Yang cry.

Shuhua decisively broke up with that man.

Not long after, a very excellent young man pursued Shuhua, insisting on marrying her despite his family’s objections, and promised to treat Ji Yang as his own son.

But having learned from previous lessons, Shuhua still gave up on this good relationship.

Although Yu Jun Mei always unconditionally supported her friend, she secretly didn’t understand why Shuhua could sincerely give so much for someone who had no blood relation to her.

In this will, Yu Jun Mei found the answer.

The answer was Shuhua herself.

Shuhua was also abandoned.

She was adopted by a couple at the age of three, but less than two years later, this couple had twins, adding two more mouths to feed, and their household suddenly became financially strained.

Although she was only five years old, Shuhua was already much more mature than children her age. She voluntarily suggested that her adoptive parents send her back to the orphanage.

And so, she quietly stayed in the orphanage for another year before being taken home by her later parents.

Because she had been drenched in rain, she knew that when she encountered another self, she would choose to use all her strength to create a sky for that child.

Because she had been cared for with kindness, she knew that when her life came to an end, she would still remember to contribute her last bit of warmth.

A sentence suddenly came to Yu Jun Mei’s mind:

“Live life to the fullest, with sincerity and kindness.”